my obnoxious baby registry

baby registry  So, you’re having a baby. A sweet, warm little human to nurture and love and hold  in your arms until it is time for him/her to go to kindergarten. At first, this is all you think about.

But, eventually you start to think about where you are going to put it down. And that leads to the crib. And the high chair. And the ergonomically correct side swinging chair that plays lullabies. And sooner or later you’ve pinned 1000+ pins on designing the perfect nursery. (If you’ve planned a wedding, you’ve experienced this, too. Just without the pregnancy hormones). With my first daughter, everything had to be brand new and fancy and perfectly coordinated. It felt like a reflection of me as a (bad) mother if it wasn’t. Plus, you have 9 months to shop. That’s dangerous.

  This time around, I’m much more savvy. If it can be bought used and cleaned, I’ve gone that route (seriously, baby stuff is usually the best deal in town. It’s barely used before it’s outgrown, and most often is made to be hosed down because, frankly, kids are kind of gross). Even better is when you can inherit stuff from other mommy friends. By the second kid, usually the only thing you need to buy is diapers.

  Even so, it’s hard not to get sucked into all the charming and crazy expensive baby things that start showing up magically in all your google ads on your computer screen from the first time you search “pregnancy symptoms”. So I’ve made a truly obnoxious baby registry of a few of my absolute favorites that I’d be clicking “buy” on if college tuition for two kids didn’t give me night terrors.

(If you feel strongly that my sweet baby deserves any of these things and want to donate to the cause, you can access my paypal account here).


1. Jonathan Adler giraffe table lamp $395 What to say? The man can do no wrong, and I still want a boobie vase. This lamp is, by far, my cheapest covet.

2. Carolina Accents Ashton rocking Chair  list price $843 but only $562.87 on Wayfair! There is something decidedly Adams family about this, and it looks fairly uncomfortable, but I’m in love with it anyway.

3. Petunia Pickle Bottom “Hampton Holdall” diaper bag $760  I usually place PPB diaper bags in the category of possible splurge, since most of them top out under $200.  So why is this one so much more? It must be the Hamptons reference, and the fact that it doesn’t come with any of the standard baby accessories, like a changing pad or a place for bottles or diapers.  I think this might just be a regular bag in disguise. One that you will put a dripping poopy diaper into someday.

4. Empire rocker $899 Just amazing. A rocker you wouldn’t want to hide in the baby’s room or set on fire afterward. It does, however, cost more than all my living room furniture combined.

5. Inglesina Classica Pram  $1,499 The bugaboo has nothing on this. I’m smitten with these vintage style strollers. Something about the white tires sends me into a mommy tizzy. I bought a true vintage one on Ebay for $1,400 less than this.

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